He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
