i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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