You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
