Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
