a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
wow bdsm is so cute
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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