Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
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Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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