Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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