why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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