Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Randomize
