i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
