There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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