I'm so fucking centered right now
I can text with my tongue
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
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In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize