Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?Â
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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