Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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