He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Life is so much better after having sex.
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he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
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I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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