drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
don't judge my taste in strippers
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
