you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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