Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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