some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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