do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
