4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize