At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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