Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
wat bout pragnant strippers??
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
