i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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