I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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