who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
