So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I bet he comes in French.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
