Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
