We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
