I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
