dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
