Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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