you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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