so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
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Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
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He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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