the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
