like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
