how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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