But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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