He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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