I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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