Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Sorry about my life...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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