he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
