We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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