Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
