Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
