What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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