i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
