I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
