I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
