cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
