I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
