no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
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