HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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