is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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