sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
