i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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